


In the Name of Love

by sugar_star



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gender Neautral Reader, I must cause pain, I'll try to make it happier, Immortal!Reader, M/M, Other, Reincarnate!Iwaizumi, Suicide Attempt, death mentions, it's really sad I'm sorry, let me know if I need to tag anything else, no color until you meet your soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-06 18:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8763640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugar_star/pseuds/sugar_star
Summary: Being an immortal, living forever, seemed like it should be a dream.Being reborn into the same world, over and over, watching time jump around and watching the world grow and remembering everything, was like a dream.But In a world where black and white rule the day until you find your soulmate make them the most miserable experiences one could ever ask for.





	1. Would You Let me Lead You when You're Blind?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I love angst, and I love soulmate aus. So, why not both! I'm sorry in advance, this is just a really sad, sad thing.
> 
> There isn't any self-harm or cutting or anything like that, just a lot of sadness and ONE suicide attempt. It's only in the first chapter. I promise.
> 
> Also, will I ever stop naming things after songs? Probably not.

Being alive forever was something no one ever really wanted, really. Being alive long enough to watch your friends die time and time again. Living through wars, famine, the building and tearing down of societies that it was foolish to even get attached to in the first place. The millions of people that smiled at you, cried to you, screamed at you for whatever reason. The centuries flying by like days in the week, forever, until it was the most unbearable thing to be alive. To make it worse, though, the world was forever devoid of color. There was nothing but shades of grey, black, white. A few people had been able to give you a sense of the colors that filled the world around you, but it wasn't the same. Your hair color meant nothing, your eyes, skin, lips. What was pink? The grass was supposed to be green, the sky blue, but what did that even mean? What were those things, how did anyone describe a color they had never seen before? It was foolish, year after year, decades, centuries, every person so lucky enough to see what a rainbow was outside of variants of grey, was a fool.

Or maybe, it was you that was the fool.

Gifted with immortality. Cursed seemed like a better term. There was nothing inherently good about living forever. There were no super powers, there was no attraction, no way to bring someone you loved with you into the realm of the forever. You had given up on love a long time ago, your first few attempts at love ended in pain when they would run up to you, exclaiming that the world looked so good in color. Then, they would realize that meant you weren't the one to give them that joy, and they would say sorry. Why be sorry? They were in a world of bright, vivid colors, and with someone they would enjoy those beautiful things with until they died.

Death was something you had thought about for a very long time. Probably around your second century in the desolate pits of a grayscale world. What was it like? To be free from constraints like a human body, to roam the universe at will, forever with the one you had looked for, for so long. Would it be scary? Would it hurt to leave your body? Where would you go? Was it even possible to die like this, doomed to never age passed the tender graces of twenty-one? If you died without finding that one person you were meant to find, was the afterlife an abysmal grey, too? Could you meet your soulmate in the afterlife? Would they let you see the world beyond in all it's undoubtedly glorious colors?

Soulmates... It was a foreign concept, seeing nothing but a world of shades until you happened to cross paths with them. You had a close friend once, many decades ago, that said it was like watching a bomb go off. An explosion of everything finally coming to life, filling in the gaps, the empty whites would sometimes be lighter colors, the darkest blacks could be a shade away from the truest color. Everything was brighter in color, everyone looked alive and well, everything looked so peaceful. Beautiful, they had said.

Beauty was something you tried to imagine. People could be beautiful, emotionally, physically. The energy of nature was beautiful, even if nothing possessed a color. It _felt_ beautiful. At first. Half a century into your second go-around, the world shattered itself built domes and high reaching walls to keep the toxins away from the populous. You thought about leaving the safety to see if you can fall ill at all. It was decided against. A companion at the time and his lover, soulmate, tried to tell you what it was like. Brown, angry reds and oranges blistered out of the ground from the safety of the domes. Inside, it was lush and wonderful, blue, green, yellow, softer, paling to the angry world outside the nearly invisible walls. He made it sound so beautiful, but what did you know about beauty.

A century later, the world had healed, people joined together to repair the damage they had caused. You helped, hoping maybe that traversing the world over would suddenly throw you into a color-filled universe. Sadly, you helped form a utopia of lush nature and integrated architecture that never held hues to your own eyes. You lived in that world until it was time to traverse elsewhere. Humans had always been enamored with the sky, the vastness that could make their eyes water because they couldn't handle the sheer multitude of emptiness. The night sky was the only thing you ever found truly beautiful, you could see that for all it truly was. There was no hint of blue of streaks of red and yellow cascading over the empty world. The twinkling stars was white, the vast, open sky was pitch black. You could see the comets streak across the never-ending canvas of night with certainty that it was the only true thing you had ever witnessed. It made the world bearable.

Until humans decided to journey into that sky. You happily joined the ventures. Even during the day, space never changed. It was always a stark, gorgeous black void of night filled with dots of white. Nothing could ruin the seemingly endless expanse of space. The void gave you comfort. Then, the captain of the flight mission and his wife exclaimed at the view of a sparkling, swirling galaxy so far away it could never be touched. A galaxy that swirled with blues and purples. Colors.

Suddenly, the night sky seemed less inviting when you knew even it had secret colors in it's depths.

Now, the world looks more familiar. Like when you were born, skyscrapers abound, bustling people on every corner. The lush plant-life intertwining into the synthetics were the only things that were different from all those centuries ago. How many had it been? Who knew, no one but you, and you hadn't bothered to keep track. In all your time on this planet, you had never run across another immortal being. If they existed, you didn't know of them. You wished you had, maybe they could have brought you into a world of vibrancy. But here you remained, with another new name, in another new city, trying to be as human as possible. Your job wasn't an important one, not like so long ago when you were known for rebuilding the society around you today. You weren't much other than a grunt-level person trying to make a living. Even if you did have more money than you knew what to do with, even if everything was just empty and to be cast aside in a few more decades. You wanted so desperately to be a normal human being.

Do your work.

Live a normal life.

Die, and never return to this barren world.

That's what you told yourself for years. You had tried a life of crime, the life of a regular Robin Hood, the life of a successful yet anonymous business person, even the life of a politician that was never written about in any books. None of them did anything for you, the regularity was all you could stand to handle. If you could call it that, really. It's what you told yourself as you traveled to highest building in the most populated city and slowly ascended every stair with a purpose. It's what you tried saying a few decades into your first years of life. As you watched your mother kiss your father goodbye, watched her drift into a sleep she would never again wake from. You told yourself you could be normal after you turned one-hundred and twenty-one years old and decided a century was a good roll-over to try and get people to believe you were just using really good skin products to stay so young. When you were left at the alter once, twice for their happiness to be fulfilled. As you climbed those stairs, you reminded yourself that you were human. Humans could die. You could die.

You wanted to be free.

At the last stairwell was a steel door looming over the darkening building. The window behind you was large and fully of the most beautiful plants you could have ever had the pleasure to see with your greyed out vision. The sun filtered between the leaves, casting your dark shadow against the door. You stared at the door as it slowly grew closer with every step up those stairs. The handle was cold under the heat and sweat of your palms, you pushed the door open, the thing giving an audible whine and creak from having never been used. The hinges had appeared rusted, but they gave way easily enough as the warmth of the sun once more attacked your skin. It tickled the hairs on your arms to rise with the warm breeze blowing gently through the rooftop gardens. You left the door ajar, no sense in shutting it. The garden was overgrown, like a jungle intertwining with the curved architecture of the building you now stood atop. Surely, it must have been filled with colors abound if you had learned anything about greys being distinguished by color vibrancy. It smelled amazing, and you allowed yourself to take several long breaths of the clean air, let your fingers drift over the leaves, the soft petals, the sharp thorns. You let yourself feel, for just a little while longer. Your feet moved slowly throughout the rooftop garden, sneakers scuffing at the moss covered concrete and tiles as they brought you to your final destination.

The city was as busy as it had ever been. People were trudging around here and there on foot, on bicycles, skates, anything but cars. The bustling life never allowed for anything motorized aside from a lone moped or something like it to putter down the people filled streets. They looked like little ants, black specks from way up high. A smile thinned your lips as you watched happy children, teens, busy adults, all run about like the world wasn't etched in black and white. The single thought made you flinch as if it had punched you in the chest, winding you into stepping away from the edge of the building. Your eyes stung with tears that threatened to fall, but you willed them away. This wasn't the time to be upset. You were going to escape this place. This black and white hell of never ending pain and heart break. Hands clenched and unclenched as feet moved slowly toward the lip of the building. The wind was warm, like arms wrapping around your form in a solid embrace. The sun tickled your neck with a lingering heat that urged a sigh from your lips. This was it. One more step, and you could be free forever. The afterlife could be whatever you wanted it to be, it could be full of beautiful stars and swirling galaxies, full of nothing but warmth and comfort.

Full of colors.

There was nothing here for you anymore, so many centuries of life that never lasted. Never meant more than a new name. Lives that brought pain, and heartache, no matter what you did. This was where you wanted to end your story, and you would end it yourself, with no one remembering you, like it should be. With no one having to be in pain because of you, like it should be.

Without the colors you could only dream of, like it should be.

Another breath was drawn in. Your right foot was over nothing but air. Your body leaned forward, like a slow motion film, and was caught by nothing but the warmth of the breeze that rushed up to great your warm skin. You let your arms spread like wings that would carry you on that oh-so warm breeze to freedom. Your eyes slid shut, welcoming the fall. Your left foot lifted off of the concrete lip of the roof and you were in a free fall. Flying through the breeze with nothing to weigh you down to this black and white world anymore. You allowed yourself to smile, laugh even.

You were going to be free.


	2. If we could Bathe in All the Lights, Would You Meet Me in the Sky?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colors never made him so angry, whenever he saw them, no matter how many times he came into this world, he could never share them with the person who gave him the ability to see them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Death mentions are in this one, since, well, he keeps being reincarnated.
> 
> I love Iwa-chan, therefore, he suffers

His world had been so full of color for so long, he sometimes wondered if there was something wrong with him. No matter when he was reborn into the world, the moment he laid his eyes on that one, never-changing human being, his world exploded into a vibrant bomb of nothing but color. Every time, he never forgot the last, every time he saw them, the wind would lift him, his very soul, into the sky and set him down in the new world of hues. The first time it had happened, he had seen them from behind. Their eyes squinted into a smile, the moment his eyes got a glimpse of that soulful smile his world erupted. The sky turned every shade of blue, the bricks of the building were vivid browns, red, and blue-greys. The roads were marked in yellow, fleck of rainbows in the pavement. The trees sprouted into vibrant greens and oranges with the turning of the seasons. The people, all around him, hair from black to brown or blond. Some were even pink or blue. Eyes, oh the eyes. Green, blue, steely grey, chocolate brown, soft mocha. Glass even had a color. Everything was so new, so strange. It was like nothing he could have ever imagined. But they were gone, in his amazement, they had left. They hadn't seen him, they didn't know. He spent years hunting for them, until he finally had to accept the arms of the universe to carry him into the afterlife.

The second time, everything was the same. The world was bustling, but now desolate in its old greys. He was back. He wasn't his old self, but he was back. He remembered everything. The journey he went on was a long one, searching the city far and wide once he was old enough. He soon traversed the country. He nearly gave up hope until that same face, a face that shouldn't have been alive still, flashed on his TV screen, something about advanced academics. The city was scrawled across the bottom of the TV and he sent out a silent prayer that they hadn't gone. It took a day to reach the city, reports were still coming in about the health advancements they had been a part of and his heart soared. A hour away.

He drove like a mad-man, trying to make it to the building that smiling face was staying at. Just before the block the building rested on, a wailing siren chirped to life behind him, an officer. He had been driving so recklessly, had been so engrossed in his selfish mission, he had blown through so many traffic lights he could have been easily arrested. Dealing with an irate officer was no easy feat, but he managed it in just enough time to glance out his windshield, and have his entire world engulfed in vibrancy. So caught up in the moment, he didn't even feel his foot smash the pedal of his car down to the floor, hurtle him forward into the on-coming truck that had no time to stop if it so wanted to. He left the world once more without them.

Time and time again, he returned to this world. Every time, he was shrouded in black and white, on his twenty first birthday, he would look for any signs of them, their achievements seeming to fall upon another person, another name. When they world all but ended, they were there to witness it. They were always the same, always the very same. Like they never left this world like he had so many times before. It was like the world was playing a sick game with him, letting him see them, then ripping them from him before he could see them again. He died in a vibrant flash of lights he slowly learned to hate. It only brought him pain, suffering, and the knowledge that he had to seek them out again and again. And he would, he would seek out the faltering smile until he could look them in the eyes and let them view the world in all it's vibrancy and wonder. If he had to die right after, he would, so long as they got to see what they never could before. He could die happily then. Rest forever if he had to. Just to give them the colors they undoubtedly deserved.

The world he was in now was much like his first, but the architecture was much more integrated into the plant life. Buildings were like art, decorated with trees grown through their centers, vines and flowers crawling from building to building, sun filtering through the wondrous structures. The air was it's cleanest, fuel emissions had been nearly done away with and most people traveled by foot or some sort of non-motorized transportation. An utopia, really. It was blissful, even with the bustling noise from the throngs of people hurrying around to work, school, stores. He remembered nothing quite like this, he wondered if they had had a hand in this wonderful world like they had when the entire earth was nothing but domes and angry, fume-spewing fissures. If they shaped this world like they shaped the explorations into deep space. If they were here to see it still.

A sigh pulled from his chest with a gentle heave, cheek resting against his palm as he swirled a spoon in his slowly chilling coffee. The café he had taken to after classes was usually always busy, today was no exception, but he had managed to get his favorite table. It rested in a little alcove just a few feet into the doorway, a large window advertising the café next to the few booths let in a warm light of the afternoon sun. The view from here was nice, though it only looked so nice in black and white as it could. The window looked out at the large crosswalk-like intersection of the shopping district, the building were all beautiful. The tallest building in the city loomed across the way of the window, and he liked to watch the plant life adorning the large thing sway in the breeze. It gave him a sense of peace, of hope, almost. He felt himself sigh again, take a sip of his now cold coffee, then freeze as he took a slow glance at a single figure walking with an abrupt haste toward the building across from the café. They dodged through crowds of people with ease, as if they willed the bodies away from them. They entered the building.

He knew that figure, he hadn't seen the face, but he knew.

It was them.

He was out of the booth, the café, in mere seconds. The crowds were so thick with people that he felt like he was going to be trampled if he so much as touched any of the wandering bodies. But he shoveled through them as fast as he could. If the figure now in that building could part them with ease, he was like a wrench in the cogs of the crowd, jamming it up, bumping into every angry man, woman and child possible. The crowds were empty by the building, so as soon as he broke through, he bolted for the well rusted doors and yanked them open as quickly as possible. Through the labored breathing he was wheezing into the still air, he could faintly hear slightly hastening footfalls coming from the stairwell. This building was long abandoned, preserved by the overgrowing plant life to remain until it came down of it's own accord, so the elevator off to the left was clearly not an option. The stairs were the only choice he had to see them.

He took most of them two at a time.

There were so many stairs, some covered completely by vines or moss cracking through the walls and broken glass of the windows. So many stairs, but even when his legs burned for him to stop, his lungs aching in desperation for some sort of substantial air, eyes watered and greyed vision became spotty, he pulled himself up those stairs. After climbing for what seemed like hours, he heard a whining of rusty hinges. The door to roof. Just a few more flights. He had to force himself up those last few flights, his legs screaming, the muscles tensing and resisting his will to move any further. But his will was much stronger than the rest of him, and through gritted teeth, he hoisted himself up those flights of stairs to the opened rooftop door. They'd left it open? Why would they...

Not unless...

No, no surely not.

He gasped at the fresh air flooding his lungs, willed his shaking legs to keep going through the maze of the garden overtaking the rooftop. He weaved through the grey garden before halting, freezing as he let his eyes rest on the peaceful smile gracing that beautiful, forever young face as a single foot dangled over the edge of the building.

No...

Color burst into his vision, starting with their eyes, the most beautiful shade he could have ever imagined. Hair billowing gently in the breeze wrapping it's way around the rooftop, the most rich and shining hair he'd laid eyes on.

No, no, this isn't real...

The greys of the concrete rooftop were stark in comparison to lush green and vibrant pinks and yellows and oranges of the flowers weaving into the foliage. The afternoon sky was a brilliant, cooling blue, not a cloud to mar it's beauty. The sun warm, bright and yellow, blazing in the sky like a breathing fire.

No, no!

His legs were aching, refusing to propel him forward towards the body now leaning forward toward the edge of the building. Toward the street down below. Toward what would surely be a swift death.

No!

His legs were moving from under his fatigued self faster than he could have ever thought was possible. They were falling, slowly falling. Their left foot was about to leave the lip of the rooftop. They were smiling, a dreamy laugh bubbled from their light pink lips as their body seemed to suspend in the air for what seemed like forever. He was moving faster than he thought he could, felt like he defying the very laws of nature with how they fell so slow yet he moved so swiftly. A sob ripped out of his throat, a single "No!" tearing through the empty rooftop garden as he reached, grabbed at whatever clothing he could a yanked with all his might to keep the body before him in his grasp. He scrambled, grabbing their arm and heaving as best he could to pull their slack form back up to the roof. He screamed down at the street, trying to get his voice to carry to the pavement in his panic. His hands were weak, fatigue setting in as his clawed desperately at the fabric of their shirt. Sob after sob tore through his chest, his shouting turning into shrieks of distress, tears clouding his vision. After struggling for what seemed like far too long, he managed a burst of strength to bring the limp form up and back onto the rooftop. He fell back when they finally breached back over the lip of the roof, voice trembling as he pulled the no doubt shock stilled form into his arms. He dug through his pockets for his phone, called 911 and openly bawled into the speaker of the phone, into the sweet-smelling hair of the body his arms had wound around.

He finally found them. Even though they had tried to kill themselves, for whatever reason they may have had, he found them.

Iwaizumi Hajime had finally found his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to tell me what you think!
> 
> Feel free to shoot ideas and suggestion if you like my stuff to my tumblr! candiedpaper.tumblr.com


	3. When the Saddness Leaves you Broken in your Bed, I Will Hold You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why'd you do it..."
> 
> It wasn't a question.
> 
> "Why didn't you let me just be free..."

The blinding white that flooded your weary eyes much too quickly as you tried to pry them open caused you to pause, flinch away and clench them tightly to escape it. It was warm, this all encompassing whiteness, wrapping itself around your limbs like a gently placed blanket. You want to welcome it, willing yourself to ease your eyes open once again to gauge it. With the still present sleep tunneling your vision, all you could see was above you. White, everything was white. You let a smile grace your lips as bitter as it may have been, even the afterlife was a blissfully torturous blank slate. Was everything else this way? You wondered, your body far to sore and tired to try and force itself to move.

 

Why were you tired, and sore, though? Wasn't death supposed to release you from it? Had you even died? You didn't remember much other than letting yourself fall. You fell, you were going to be freed from that monotone world, the heartache and monotony of trying to care about everything else. A small sob escaped your lips, tore through your pained chest. The rest of the room, you soon realized it was indeed a room, filtered into view as the tears now streaming from the corners of your eyes washed away what little sleep remained. It was a hospital room, the rails on either side of the stiff bed gave you a sense of panic that rose into your throat. The window to your left was closed, the curtains eerily stiff. There was a desk, a sink, several clipboards of paperwork, a bedside table. Across from you was a couple of metal-looking chairs that faced the bed. To your right, the door, a small partition that had been moved aside. And right next to you, an IV drip.

 

As you became more acutely aware of your surrounding, as your body started to will itself into awareness, you felt the needle in your arm. It stung when you twitched the muscles to try and sit upright. That was when your body jolted into a state of hyper awareness. The first thing you did was yank the needle out of your vein with a panicked sob. The monitors off to the side screamed in protest, no doubt to alert the hospital staff of the disturbance, but the sound was drowned out against the very angry ringing in your ears. Your arms thrashed toward the railings keeping you in that bed, hands still too weak to let you shove them aside or lift yourself over them. It was too confining, you were too weak with fatigue, you started to panic. Breathing became a laborious task, tears were straining down your cheeks, you wanted to scream.

 

So you screamed. You screamed against the ache in your lungs, shrill and pained. You couldn't hear it's volume with the thrumming drowning any semi coherent thought you might have been able to gather. You didn't care. You were still alive. It was blatantly obvious now as your hands shot from the railings to fist into your hair, pulling at the strands and sobbing, whimpers escaping instead of the screams of anguish and pure hatred you wanted to release. Every nerve was twitching, trembling. It left you a mess as you curled into yourself. You were still here, in this black and white universe. Still trapped in an undying body. Still forced to suffer.

 

The door to your right had crashed open during your spell, doctors and nurses no doubt rushing in to surround you. Their hands were heavy, too heavy on your skin. They burned against your skin, it was cold you realized even though the room was a pleasant temperature, as they tried to placate you, lay you out again and reinsert the IV they insisted that you needed. Everything was too loud, they were all talking at once. Why hadn't you died? Why were you still here?

 

Then it hit you like a freight train.

 

You heard someone ask from the doorway if you were okay, and if you had the strength you would have looked, but your head lolled the other way, eyes wide and unblinking, unseeing, out the window. That voice was a familiar one, you'd only recently heard it, but it burned into your mind like a hot iron.

 

The voice of the man who had torn away your only chance at freedom.

 

The memory took you away from the bustling hospital room and back to the top of that abandoned building surrounded by nothing but warm breezes and the perfume of flowers. When your left foot had left the lip of the rooftop, when you had closed your eyes to let your body fly away into the abyss you longed for, something had grabbed onto you. It was like an anchor, weighing on your arm to ground you. The rest of you had flown forward, a sharp pain in your shoulder like the bones were cracking at the sharp angle and the weight of your body hanging limply in the air. That anchor turned into a claw, grabbing at your sleeve, your collar, to try and hoist you up. Your eyes had snapped open at the searing pain in your arm and you were faced with the concrete of the sidewalk far below. You were looking, unseeing, at the throngs of human bodies moving around, not knowing that so many feet above them you were hanging from the sky.

 

The voice that carried toward the street got lost half way down, no one was looking up. You felt yourself be heaved upward slowly, soon yanked over the lip of the roof. Your shock ridden form limp against what felt like a brick wall, a warm, heaving wall. There was an arm, another anchor, grounding you against it, warm and firm. The sobbing from the body behind you confused you in your muddled stupor. There was some sort of brief conversation, apparently to an emergency operator, before another arm was wound around yourself. Their was a warm breath against your neck, tears dripping against your skin. You remembered the voice in the hospital room was there.

 

"I finally found you..."

 

\------

 

Iwaizumi had been pacing a run into the waiting room floor when a gut wrenching scream pierced the emergency room halls. It was coming from the room the emergency personnel had rushed you to. There were doctors and nurses flooding from rooms almost immediately, he blindly followed. He wanted to make sure you weren't hurt anymore. It was his fault they even had to do anything, when he'd grabbed onto your arm and practically ripped your very limp form up over the edge of the building by the single limb. It had hung limp by your side on the rooftop while he tried to shriek out the location you'd been at. It was his fault, but a broken arm was better than a dead body.

 

At least to him it was.

 

He couldn't count how many doctors or nurses were in the room in front of him. Even with the world in color, the hospital walls were painfully white, he had to let his eyes adjust before he could see passed the bodies. The sight he saw was one he never wanted to see again.

 

Tear stains were very clear again your cheeks, pooling in the corners of squeezed shut eyes, dripping onto the thin white sheets of the hospital bed. The shoulder that was healing was dislodged in what looked like a painful angle while visibly trembling hands fisted into somewhat knotted hair. It was weak, like the sounds tumbling from those chapped and crackled lips, but it seemed like it was enough to ground you to where you were. It was the saddest thing Iwaizumi thinks he's ever seen.

 

But at least you were alive.

 

He cleared his throat carefully, glanced at the only nurse who looked up at him, and asked a rather stupid, "How.. Are they?"

 

He thought he saw you stiffen from the corner of his eye as the doctors tried to lay your still trembling body back onto the bed, reinserting the IV drip to balance your fluids. They then talked amongst themselves regarding your arm, but he focused on the nurse that was giving him the best 'Are you that fucking stupid' look he'd ever been graced with. "They're as fine as a suicidal person can be, with a broken arm." Iwaizumi flinched, tearing his gaze away from her critical stare to peer over at the body laying on the bed. There was a beat of silence before she asked, "How did you even managed to get to them?"

 

Iwaizumi thought about his answer carefully. He opted not to go with 'Well they're my soulmate from every single lifetime I've been in and they've never changed at all so I knew it was them when they walked into that building.' Instead, he chewed the inside of his cheek, and went with, "No one really goes into that old building, thought maybe they'd gotten lost or somethin'…"

 

She didn't look convinced, but she dropped it as the other doctors filtered out of the room. She took a second to glance between your still form and Iwaizumi's persistent gaze at said form before sighing. "I suppose it's a good thing you found them, then. Loosing your soulmate like that would have been devastating."

 

Iwaizumi snapped his attention back to the nurse, who was now giving him a tiny smirk. He tried to fight the rush of blood trying to flood his cheeks but it was too late. The nurse dared to giggle at him before turning to leave the room. Iwaizumi hesitated, tried to decide whether or not he should stay in the room when she spoke up again. "You can stay, until they have to take them to surgery." The nurse turned in the doorway to give Iwaizumi a smile he couldn't help but return. "Just don't break anything else." He snorted at that, before turning back to the bed, the body slowly curling under the thin sheet.

 

He went to get one of the chairs and move it to your bedside when he saw you flinch again at his slightest movement. If you could have heard his foot shuffle, he had a feeling this was going to be a long, long process. He went ahead and retrieved one of the chairs, moved to the bedside facing your back and sat down. He remained quiet, not wanting to disturb you anymore.

 

He took the time to take you in. He didn't have to hurry, nothing was going to tear him away from you. So he took his time. Your hair, though tangled and disheveled, was a wondrous, vibrant shade. The urge to tough it, see if it was as soft as he thought it must have been, was hard to fight back. He clenched his fists against his knees to keep himself in check. The long sleeved maroon shirt was loose, as if you were swimming in the thing. You didn't look sickly, what little of your face he could see was full and round. Maybe the shirt choice was something you didn't think about often. The rest of your body was covered by the thin blanket, but he could tell that your legs were fairly long and slender. Iwaizumi wished he could see your eyes. What color were they? He didn't recall from the rooftop where he had briefly seen, too busy willing himself to move and grab onto you for dear life.

 

He also had so many questions. How was it possible that you were still so… young? Iwaizumi had been brought back into this world over and over again, for so many centuries it seemed. And yet, you remained the same. Nothing was different, except your name, it seemed. How could that be, though? How could someone look the same throughout so many years?

 

Though the same could be asked about how he could keep coming back to this place.

 

Iwaizumi chewed on his lip. He wanted to speak, hear you other than your tortured screams or from behind a TV screen. Whatever you would say, he wanted to hear it. But he was too afraid. You hadn't seen him yet. What if you hated him, looked at him intending on screaming at him only to see that he was who he was? What would that do? The worries started to flood into him like a crashing wave.

 

"Why'd you do it…"

 

It wasn't a question. It made Iwaizumi jump in his seat, then lean forward to try and hear the ragged voice bubbling from the bed better. He wanted to grab hold, pull you over to him and tell you everything. Your voice was so small and pained, Iwaizumi immediately wanted to make that pain vanish. When he opened his mouth to respond, he was cut off by the most heartbreaking interjection.

 

"Why didn't you let me just be free…"

 

\---

 

He smelt like wood, freshly cut wood and a cool breeze. It was the only thing that kept you from sobbing anymore was you stared out the window, not really seeing anything. The scuffing of feet made you flinch, but you figured it was just him moving around. Nothing was piecing together, your mind was whirling around still and all you can comprehend was him, sitting next to the bed. Part of you wanted to look him in the eye and curse him for not letting you fall. Hiss and spit and seethe at him until he understood what you had wanted. How had he even found you up there? You made sure to slip through the crowds unnoticed, made sure no one was behind you as you ascended the stairs. So how. How could he have possibly found you.

 

It irritated you to no end.

 

After a long while of silence, you took a slow breath, taking in the too soothing scent in the room.

 

"Why'd you do it…"

 

Nothing. Okay then.

 

"Why didn't you let me just be free…"

 

There was another pause. The air in the room changed. It was heavier now, like the worlds were hanging in the air and seeping into everything in the room. Into him. Whoever he was. It was what you wanted. Let him know he ruined your only chance at freedom. Let him realize you wanted to fall, wanted the ending to coming. He'd ruined it. It was his fault.

 

Another long pause. It was like he was considering his words too long. What did it matter? You were strangers, in the very essence, right? So what did it matter what he said.

 

"What kind of freedom is it if you can't see the world for what it is yet?"

 

You stilled, flinched. If only you could say the words, 'Being alive for more centuries than you can imagine might have something to do with it,' it would be easier. He must have a soulmate waiting for him outside this room. He must be able to see the world for what it really is.

 

Luck him.

 

You didn't want to respond. Part of you still wanted to look over at him, let him see the pain in your eyes and let him see the broken soul behind them. It would be better than trying to speak actual words. Not that the words mattered. He was probably going to leave after the doctors came to get you.

 

The room stayed quiet until then.

 

The smell of wood and a soothing summer breeze faded from the room.

 

It was better like that.

 

The doctors carted you away as your eyes slid closed.

 

You didn't want to see his face, or the hideous black and white world anymore.

 

At least you could dream of being free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably take a turn for the happier end of the train ride. We'll see.


	4. You BRing me Back to Life, It's All in the Name of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was the most beautiful thing there on that beach. More than the soft glow of the fire, the never-ending colors of the flowers scattered around the sand.
> 
> Nothing was more beautiful, than Iwaizumi Hajime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the final chapter!!

The surgery had been successful. The bones were healing well and Iwaizumi was relieved that you were going to be able to leave soon. It had been a week since he had brought you here, since he had been enveloped in a colorful world that he couldn't wait to share with you. If you'd let him, that is. The only time you had spoken to him was the day he'd brought you here, he couldn't forget it.

"Why didn't you let me be free?"

Those words had plagued him ever since. He hoped his response had been enough to make you feel a little better, feel some relief. If you could only understand. He hoped you would. He visited every day after he heard you could leave within a few days. You never looked at him, for which he often mourned because he wanted you to see how beautiful everything was. How beautiful you were. He told himself that even if you never wanted to talk to him again, he would be happy that you could see everything around you with the same eyes he could.

And as he readied himself for that day, he felt a little foolish. Embarrassed, really. With his world in full color, he could see himself better. He didn't like how he looked, it wasn't the him he had first seen you as, his hair wasn't the color it had been before. His eyes were the same, but his hair was too light and he hated it, too long, too. It made him scowl. How the universe could get the rest of him right and only fuck up his hair was stupid as hell. He felt weird, sitting in a salon, getting his hair back to the color it had been so, so long ago while you were in a hospital room, being evaluated for mental stability, so that you could leave properly. It was stupid, he knew that, but he didn't want you to see him any other way. Even if you'd never seen him before.

He told himself it mattered.

He tried to remain calm on his way to the hospital. He hoped this would go well. He had been ripped away from you for so long that it felt like something terrible was going to happen any second now. Iwaizumi fidgeted with his hands whenever he had to decide between an elevator or stairs. He tried to stay away from large crowds, found himself never leaving home during thunder storms. At least there were no cars here, in this life. For that, he was grateful. The hospital itself had been him pause, hospitals weren't his favorite place to be. He'd been in enough of them to know they weren't a good place to find yourself. But they had helped you, what he had done to you. Even that made him feel anxious. What if you hated him for causing you so much pain? He wouldn't blame you for it, but he hated the thought you losing you again, because he had hurt you so.

Iwaizumi was outside your room, hand on the doorknob, chewing on his lip. They had said to be quiet, you were resting still and surely he didn't want to rouse you. He started to think about it, looking into your eyes and showing you what a beautiful world you had tried to leave with no explanation. Did he really want to do that here? In a white walled hospital? How could he do it anywhere else? He was stuck on thinking about it when the nurse from a week ago walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He nearly leapt out of his skin.

"They haven't seen you, right?"

Iwaizumi nodded slowly, this woman sure was perceptive…

The smile on her lips was a little sad, but she looked like she had an idea. "How about a blind date?"

Iwaizumi's jaw hung open, tried to close, his mind tried to form words, but the nurse just giggled at him and continued.

"I'm sure they'd like it. Though, I don't think they'll expect the dye job. I told them you had lighter hair."

"You… you what?" His eyebrows knit into a tight frown, not really understanding fully. She's… told you what he looked like? "What else did you tell them?"

"That you were nice looking. You worried about them a lot and came by whenever they were resting to make sure they were okay, even after you'd gone for the day." Her smile grew fonder as she spoke. "They're happy, you know? That you saved them. At first, they were so… apprehensive. Really wanted to just, leave this place. I don't know why, but they sound so worldly, like they've seen too many things that they shouldn't have. It's sad, really, that they wanted to leave this world so soon, without their soulmate. But, now, they're excited. They want to see you, thank you." When the nurse looked from Iwaizumi to the door, she sighed. "I didn't tell them who you were though. That's something you should do for yourself. But promise me this." Her eyes were on Iwaizumi again, and he thought he saw something in them that made her know who you were. "Promise me you'll take them somewhere nice, for their first time?"

He didn't question the plea in her eyes, but offered a smile instead, nodding firmly. "Of course."

\---

She watched as the man entered the hospital room, the sincerity in his voice had given her the security that he would, indeed, take you to the place you love most of all. Would show you the beauty the world she'd watched you create, see the man she'd insistently brought back to you with wide eyes and a smile on your face. Pushing her hair behind her ear, she turned after hearing the door click shut, and walked away from the door. Placed her clipboard on the nearest counter, removed her coat and folded it next to the clipboard before heading toward the glass doors that lead outside.

She took a deep breath as soon as she entered the warmth of the spring air, letting the sun beam down on her skin and warm her through and through. She smiled up at the sun, eyes squinting behind her glasses. She could almost see the beaming face of her soulmate in that sun as she sighed. Her job was done, she would be able to see her beautiful Yachi again soon, kiss her like she hoped that young man would kiss you when he showed you what a wonderful place this world could be.

Kiyoko turned her attention back to the roads in front of her and made her way into the crowds, fading into with the hopes that you'd finally be happy, after all this time.

\---

You were facing the window again when you heard the door open. You were excited. Shimizu-san had told you that he was coming by again today to apologize properly. You didn't care anymore, all of those anxieties seemed to vanish as soon as Shimizu-san told you about him, the man who smelt like the forest after a long rain shower. His name was Iwaizumi Hajime, he had spiky brown hair and eyes that were something between brown and green. Those colors didn't mean anything to you, but it made you oddly excited all the same. She told you he looked a little mean, he apparently frowned a lot. You didn't doubt that, if his voice was any sort of indicator. She said he was your age, you nearly laughed, if only she knew how wrong that was. Iwaizumi wasn't too tall, taller than her, but still on the shorter side for a man his age. It made you laugh, thinking about the gruff voice and no doubt stern face of a man probably no taller than yourself.

Shimizu-san had told you a lot, but it was nothing compared to how you felt when he came into your room. The thought of being able to picture he only made you want to see him more. He had saved you. At first, you hated him. Hate was a strong word, but it's all you could think of at the time and it worked for you. You had wanted to leave this black and white abyss, he had take away what could have been your only chance to do that. It was none of his business what happened to you, he wasn't anything to you, you weren't anything to him.

But as the days went by, you realized that he saved you, instead of trapping you here. You had been through so much, so many lifetimes, and you had taken it for granted when you walked onto that roof and tried to end your life. You felt horrible, then you felt upset again, until it finally dissolved into a weird form of sadness. This stranger had somehow saved your life, and you hated him? This world had to have something for you to hang on to, maybe you'd find them soon. Maybe never. But you knew you had to stay alive to do that. No matter what you had seen or heard or thought you hated, you loved a lot of things about this world. The sky, the smell of flowers, the sound of children playing as if their worlds weren't nothing but black and white. You loved animals, you loved to make people smile with your stupid jokes. You loved to see people see the world in color for the first time. You loved a lot in this world.

It was about time you loved yourself in return.

You would start with meeting Iwaizumi, and thanking him for saving you.

When the door opened though, you couldn't will yourself to move. For once, you felt scared. You had never been so scared to look at someone before. You started to wonder if you could do this. Could you look at this man and tell him how grateful you were? Apologize for treating him so brashly the other day? Shimizu-san had told you not to worry, but that old feeling came back. That feeling of getting attached to someone. You were immortal, you couldn't age, couldn't die. Iwaizumi was probably human, just like everyone else you'd ever met. What if you got attached to him, and he was taken away with the flow of time, like everyone else. You tried not to think about it when you felt the bed dip next to you. The room was spinning, all you could feel was his presence, the room smelled like him, everything was drowned out by Iwaizumi.

It made you dizzy.

When he spoke, you tried to level your voice so that he wouldn't worry. "Hey, I heard you're free to go…"

You nodded, not trusting your voice.

"I was wondering… What your favorite place is around here. Thought it'd be nice to take you somewhere nice, as an apology for… Well, ya know."

"Breaking my arm?" You laughed a little at the wince he let out, and tried to sit up. You made a confused noise when he gently pushed you back into the bed.

"Do you have somewhere you would want to go?"

You thought about it, considered it for a while before a smile crept it's way onto your lips. "Yeah… I like to go to the beach, away from the city, and look at the stars… They're pretty, and you can see them so nicely there, where there's no lights…"

Iwaizumi shifted next to you, trying to cover what sounded like a little laugh. You would have slapped at him if your shoulder wasn't still killing you. "That sounds nice, when do you usually go there?"

"I like to go around midnight, no one is out there, and the moon is usually high enough to light the way…"

"Then, can we meet there? At midnight?"

You nodded slowly, smiling out the window again.

"I'd like that."

\---

You were discharged at eleven fifteen from the hospital. You only had forty-five minutes to get to where you'd said you'd meet Iwaizumi. All day you'd wondered why he wanted to meet you somewhere else. You could have just thanked him at the hospital, seen him tomorrow morning and gone out. You sort of wanted to be friends with the guy, at least a little. He'd saved your sorry life, he was a sweet guy, from what you could tell. But to meet at your favorite place? Why did that mean anything to him? It had ate at you all day, it still picked at the back of your mind as you hurried to the edge of the city. Luckily the hospital wasn't too far from the city limits, the beach only a twenty minute jog from there.

You barely made it. The sky was already littered with stars, swirling around their galaxies in a dance that left you breathless. The beach was a little cold, the wind coming off the sea nipping at the skin of your face and hands. You looked around for him, didn't see anyone there at all. All there was, was the night sky, full of countless, wondrous stars, a few bonfires? Who had lit these? There were several of them lighting up the sand and giving off a comfortable heat to combat the cold breeze off the water. And there were… Flowers. There were countless flowers everywhere! Scattered about, safely away from the flames, but the light they gave off seemed to illuminate them. Roses, lilies, orchids, any sort of flower you could have ever imagined.

What exactly was going on here…?

You walked over to the fires, careful not to trample the flowers on your way. Everything was so beautifully laid out that there was no way this was something someone forgot to clean up. Who even brought flowers to the beach like this? Leaves and vines stringing them together still as if they were taken from the architecture of the city. You stepped carefully around them and the fires, until you were at the edge of the water. You took a few deep breaths of the salty air and looked at the stars above you. If only you could figure out what in the hell was going on here…

"Hey, 'bout time you showed up!"

You couldn't stop yourself from whipping around at the voice, it was familiar now, and warm, and it made you smile. You wanted to see him, that voice urging you to turn around without hesitation.

Then it happened.

Everything exploded, your smile faltered as your jaw went slack, eyes widening as everything simply exploded.

It started with the burning fires. The cold looking white and grey flames licked to life in a burst of warmth, colored red, orange, and yellow. It was brighter than any fire you had ever seen in your centuries on Earth. Warmer than anything you had even felt. Those licking flames were nestled in pits of blanched brown wood, crackling and spitting little bits of yellow embers into the night sky. The stones surrounding them were still a cold grey, but the yellow glow of the fires gave them a warm tinge of color. As your eyes raked over the edge of the flames and over to the flowers, tears left your eyes. They were beautiful. The leaves, the vines entangling the flowers were some many shades of green that you wondered if they were even real. They looked so much more alive, the soft, soothing greens were mellow against the heat of the fires, glowing with a vibrancy you could have never seen any other way. The flowers were every color you could have ever imagined, but could have never seen before. Soft pinks and reds, reds and yellows that were so different from the flames of the fires but you couldn't describe why. Blues, teals, lavender, every color you'd only learned the words to seemed to click into place as you raked your eyes over them. Even the sand was a pale yellow in the glow.

Then, your eyes focused on the bright lights filtering from the city that was so far away now. It radiated, blue and yellow, the foliage that was growing from the cold greys and whites of the buildings was a brilliant green that made more tears stream down your cheeks. You cursed them, they were blurring everything you'd never seen before and you wiped at them furiously. The glow of the city was stunning against the sky, the sky that was black, tinged with the faintest of blues. It glowed around the man standing in front of you. It glowed with the fires, light up the face that had given you such a wonderful gift.

That was face was more beautiful than anything else you'd laid your eyes on so far. You choked back a sob, wiping away another bout of tears to see him clearly. He was taller than you, just by a little bit. Well built, steady with broad shoulders. His skin was a sun-kissed tan, it contracted with the brightness of his smile, the shine in his eyes. His hair was dark than you'd thought it'd be, but you didn't care. It was a rich shade of brown, it fit him better than anything you had imagined. He was better than anything you had ever imagined.

Though your knees were weak, your mind still reeling from the absolute shock of the world coming into it's full, glorious color, you moved forward. Your legs moved you around the fires, through the foliage along the beach, pushed you faster until the was nothing between the two of you any longer. You were wailing, sobbing into the light blue fabric of his shirt, arms thrown around him neck so tight you were around you were going to hurt him. He laughed, though, wound him arms around you like he had that day he'd saved your life, like an anchor, built to keep you safe. Iwaizumi didn't say anything to you, just smiled, placed kisses on your cheeks, your hair, anywhere he could reach. It was so comfortable. So right.

When you managed to get everything out of your system, you pulled away, hands trembling as they moved to rest on the tan skin of his cheeks. You stared into those strange colored eyes for so long, his cheek grew red under your hands, but he was staring back just as much, your cheeks heating in return. Brown, with swirls of green and gold and grey, soft and dare you even say loving. You felt a smile grace your lips.

"How long had you known…?"

He answer makes you freeze. "Centuries ago."

When you opened your mouth to ask what he meant, he smiled, a laugh so sweet and sincere bubbly from his chest that it made your face heat even more. "Don't worry, it's okay… There's nothing to worry about anymore… I've finally found you, and I'm never going to let you go, ever again."

Your voice was weaker than you wanted it to be as you clung to him again, tears threatening to well up once more as a hand carded into his hair, the other winding around his neck once more. "Promise…? You'll never leave?"

Iwaizumi tucked his face into the bend of your still healing shoulder and your neck, kissing the bandaging before relying, "I swear it on all the stars we can see…"

The two of you spent the night gazing into that beautiful night sky, surrounded by all the colors. You spent the centuries to come together, met Shimizu-san and her immortal soulmate Hitoka-chan in the sky when they called for you to join them.

You allowed yourself to smile, every waking moment you had with Iwaizumi, in a world full of nothing but color.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaahhhh! Gosh where to start! I actually managed to make this have a happy ending, which I'm super proud of! Thank you so much for the nice comments, it made me really want to finish this up, give it a nice, happy ending. I probably would have delayed this otherwise,,, Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!!

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope this is good! I wrote it really late, and really fast, and while slightly sick.
> 
> Shoot me some ideas if you like my stuff to my tumblr! candiedpaper.tumblr.com


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